"All I ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of, everything I hoped and all the things I prayed for,
Couldn't hold a candle to what I have been given. I've been given what I need."
I'm not saying cancer was necessarily what I needed... But it's shown me that what I have is exactly what I needed. This past year was full of disappointments for Danny and I. Money that never came, dreams that were never fulfilled, great jobs that never worked out. When we were going through it, it was devastating. Now I've realized that none of that was what I needed.
What I needed was to slow down and go back to the basics. To stop comparing myself to everyone around me. To realize that at the end of the day, I really do have it all. A husband who loves me dearly, three babies to tuck in every night, a strong testimony and amazing friends. All the other stuff like money gets taken care of some way or another by Heavenly Father. No matter how bad things get, when we can't see two feet in front of us because things seem so dark.. Things always work out. Not always how we wanted, not always how we expected, but they do.
I am so thankful that in our darkest hours my Heavenly Father never gave me all I had been praying and hoping for. He gave me what I needed. And some how cancer has made me okay with that.
What an incredible feeling to think, "I love what I've been given." And truly mean it. My soul feels free.
Ps At the University where the play was... We ran across a flyer of me on the wall! Now that doesn't happen everyday ;)
3 comments:
I just came across your blog today and I wanted to say that I have faith everything will work out for you. I had melanoma too and had the lymphnode surgery which thankfully was negative and I had alot of the same feelings you do. Its still a struggle for me because I am very scared of getting it again. Im young as well, just turned 26 in Sept and have a 22 month old son. Its not something I ever thought I would have to deal with, but you are right, it makes you realize whats really important. The scars I could care less about. I just wanna be able to watch my baby grow up. I will follow your journey and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here!
Shannon
Shannon, thank you so much for writing me! I appreciate the support and encouragement. I would love to talk to you about your experience! Email me at dixaroni4@gmail.com thank you!!
I have been stalking your blog since a friend on Facebook put up a link to it. I truly needed to hear those words you wrote on this post. I am keeping you and your beautiful family in my prayers.
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