Totally unintentional, but so needed. After I finished up chemo I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. I got out of the hospital and pushed all thoughts of cancer out of my head. I focused on recovering and spending time with my family. After spending months of only thinking about all things cancer, it was a necessary thing for me to do to fully recover. I'm still not 100% yet. I get tired really easy, sometimes my body still hurts.. But I am now a survivor!!!!!
Chemo was awful. I'm not going to sugar coat it. It's by far the worst thing I've ever done. I would never wish it on anyone. I am just so thankful for all the love and support I had during it. I had so many people doing so much for me that it still makes me emotional. Without all of you, I am not sure how I would have made it through it. Now I just pray everyday that I never have to go through it again. Cancer stay gone. I have too much living to do!
So what does life hold for me now? I have scans every three months. This is to check for the return of melanoma. Melanoma is extremely unpredictable and spreads quickly. Sounds simple, but when you're in my shoes, it's living life three months at a time. It's sighing a breath of relief and then realizing it will be short lived. It's waiting for that phone call. It's constantly waiting for it all to come crashing down again. So I just breathe. I smile. I laugh. I focus on what's right in front of me and try as hard as I can to live for today. For this very moment. That's all you can do when you have melanoma calling your name.
Life is good. It's stressful, chaotic, hard and down right awful sometimes. It's also incredible, surprising and wonderful at the same time. I cry tears of sadness often but find joy in those who wipe them. I'm terrified for the future but grow so much in the journey that is taking me there. So yes, life is good. It's plain lovely.
2 comments:
Congrats on being a SURVIVOR!! I noticed you haven't had any updates since and I hope all is well. I'm glad to hear that you so much love and support throughout the process. Even though medicine has progressed leaps and bounds, having a great support system can make a world of difference (which I'm sure you can attest to.) My name is Emily by the way and I had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back whenever you get the chance, thanks Brittany!
Thank you emily! I would love to answer your questions but I'm not sure how to email you? Feel
Free to email me at dixaroni4@gmail.com
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