Picking up...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I know it's been forever since I last blogged, but things happened so fast after our insurance approval that I kind of got off track. To be honest once we did get the insurance approval I had a moment where I thought, "Oh crap. This is real. I have to actually do this now." I wasn't sure if I should laugh or cry. That's how blogging took a back seat. :)

The days leading up to the hospital were the absolute worst. There is just nothing worse than leaving your kids. I had severe anxiety over it and cried many tears. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love my kids... Saying goodbye for 5 days was pure torture. As I said goodbye to all of them I had thoughts I didn't want to think like, "What if this is the last time I see them? What if something goes wrong in the hospital?" It was awful. I tried to push those far from my head but it's not as easy as it sounds.

The hospital stay went relatively fast thank goodness. My mom was able to be with me which helped immensely and my husband and mother in law were at home keeping everything together. I did end up in ICU for three days, but in the end it all went as good as can be expected. So many amazing friends and family pushed their needs aside to sit with me, watch my kids and help in any way possible. I hope all of you know just how much that means to me. Facing trials without the people I have around me would be impossible. I am so blessed to have each of you.


Van Hoesen Family said...

I seriously had those same thoughts before going under for the lymph node surgery. They had to sedate me kinda because I was almost having a panic attack. Now that you have that first week done and over with, my hope is that your next treatment goes more smoothly. Your doing great :)

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